Introvert writers, listen up!
Here's why you should get yourself a little solo getaway. (It helped me so much!)
I'm at the very BEGINNING-beginning of my baby-writer-someday-author journey (and yes, I had to look up the difference betwen an author and a writer, that's what we're dealing with, here).
This year has been a challenging one in the ongoing grieving process, but things seem to be coming together. I've found that the more I explore my interests, the better off I am when it comes to figuring out and answer to the ongoing question:
What do I do, now?
Thankfully, letting myself explore and try new things has paid off incredibly. My latest big leap was spending literally all of my vacation savings stash on a trip to Albuquerque, New Mexico, where I attended a weekend solo writer's retreat hosted by Marie Parks.
(To clarify – the retreat itself was very affordable. I simply have expensive travel tastes, apparently, so that's why this trip sucked up all of my savings. Just wanna be clear about that!)
What's a solo writer's retreat?
A solo writer's retreat is basically you (the writer) getting away by yourself to literally retreat, except instead of the typical retreat where other people are involved and there's an schedule of events of some kind, you're alone!
And if you're an introvert / socially anxious kind of person, that probably sounds pretty rad.
What was included:
- A dedicated weekend in the beautiful home of Marie Parks, founder of Sandia Starforgers
- Two nights lodging, two breakfasts, daily snacks
- An unlocking session to chat about your work
- Writing prompts
- An excursion / exploration break
I've known Marie for almost 10 years. She's supportive, encouraging, and an amazing example of stepping through life despite personal challenges and unexpected surprises and making the best out of your circumstances. I consider her a friend and a trusted colleague in the entrepreneurship world and also in the writing/author/publishing space as I figure out my next baby-writer steps for this project I'm working on.
What I loved about it (a.k.a. what I needed most, personally)
At the time I signed up for my solo retreat weekend, I knew that I wanted to write a "something" about a D&D character I played in a campaign that I had to abandon. It was one of those things where I just couldn't let that character's backstory go (I'm one of those players who sends a google doc link to the DM when I join a campaign). The idea flip flopped from a series of short stories to a graphic novel to an actual novel, and when I saw that Marie was offering a solo weekend retreat I was like, omg I need to do this!
I needed to figure out what I need to figure out, as a new writer.
An official weekend to get outside of my usual schedule and environment and focus on figuring things out. What things? I had to figure that out, too.
I don't know how to write novels or tell stories.
I mean, I tell stories via my TTRPG characters, but those are in short bursts of lore drops and improvised interaction with players at the table. But in TTRPGs, you only get a limited amount of "stage time" (focus on your character's specific backstory and how it integrates into the setting) and the storytelling is (supposedly) collaborative, meaning that you don't fully control how it will play out. I have a decent amount of experience mentally re-writing my character's backstories after the DM reveals that it's been changed, which is awesome for social interaction and general flexibility. But it's also kind of heartbreaking when you're like me and you REALLY want to tell a specific story for a specific character.
I didn't (and still don't, tbh) know how to plot and create story arcs and pay attention to character development in the context of a written story that I personally have full control over.
Why do I feel like I'm already doing this WRONG?
While this was a solo retreat and I made my own schedule and agenda, I'm so grateful I had Marie there for one particular day when I felt like I had "nothing" to work with. I had spent my travel time reading Save the Cat Writes a Novel and attempting to put all of my existing character lore into the right places and it started to feel like I was already doing things wrong.
I feel a lot of pressure to "do this right," whatever that means.
I got to chat with Marie about frameworks. When she shared some resources and alternative frameworks to look into, things started to make more sense. She introduced me to The Heroines Journey as opposed to the more popular Hero's Journey in storytelling (neither of which actually have to do with sex or gender of your main character, by the way). The Heroine's Journey fit my story so much better than the Hero's Journey, which makes sense because the character I'm writing about is a TTRPG character that I played. And I am a collaborative, ensemble-centric player. That matters!
She also gave me some great advice, that even though I'm following a framework and plugging things in where they need to go, if I get the feeling that something needs to happen at a certain point in my story, I should listen to that intuition and do it.
That, in itself, was worth the whole weekend, to be honest.
A quiet, introvert-friendly weekend was just what I needed to ease into a new hobby I've already started to love.
Generally speaking, I feel a lot of pressure to "do this right," whatever that means. I have an equal amount of experience reading fantasy books as I do making art, but there's a difference between being a lifelong enjoyer of fantasy stories and actually writing one, myself.
It still feels intimidating, but being able to learn and read and share in a safe environment with Marie around for a quiet, introvert-friendly weekend was just what I needed to ease into a new hobby I've already started to love.
Things I loved about the weekend
I loved not having a schedule.
The things that really burn me out with formal group retreats are 1) the early starts (I am a night owl and I literally woke up at noon on day 2 of this solo weekend retreat with no shame or embarrassment, which is saying something) and 2) the structure often doesn't match my energy levels, especially when there's a lot of semi-required engagement, often with people I don't know and have to force myself to get comfortable around, quickly.
I didn't have either of those problems for this solo retreat, obviously.
I set my own schedule and didn't have any issues staying focused (and even got validation from Marie at the end about that. My process-driven productivity drive kicked in and I really nailed it!)
A social introvert's DREAM, really.
I knew going into the weekend retreat that my purpose was to get this thing started. And I did exactly that.
Super Helpful Journal Prompts for my Writing Sessions
Marie provided journal prompts that helped me set the tone for each "writing session," and it helped me so much more than just having the general goal to "write as much as I can, comfortably." There were 10 journal prompts to start off my private writing sessions.
I purposely didn't set a schedule for myself. I vaguely knew I wanted to write at least twice a day. And I stuck with that. Then I spent the rest of the time either reading/learning or just hanging out.
For my excursion I requested a trip to a stationery store where I got some watercolor pencils and an ink pen to doodle with.
What I Walked Away With
Overall I completed seven writing sessions (a little over 3,000 words written) by the end of the retreat and felt so proud of that.
I walked away with a notebook full of framework ideas, lots of exciting ideas for my steampunk romantic fantasy novel, and plenty of excitement to keep this project going. I was able to stay open minded, knowing that even if I don't publish it and it just ends up being a fun project I work on for myself (that spawns other creative work that I do publish, i.e. visual art) then that is perfectly okay.
I've been through a lot in the last two years and diving into new creative outlets has been an excellent way of processing how much my life has changed, how grief has affected the way I show up in the world, and how I show up for myself.
Sometimes you just need a change of pace and scenery and a friend who believes in the importance of supporting the creative work you want to put out into the world, no matter what stage you're in. I got that in droves on this weekend retreat and would do it again in a heartbeat. It was a social introvert's dream, really.
My Recommendation
If it's not obvious, I recommend taking Marie up on this solo writer's retreat offer. If you're an introvert and want to spend time with someone who gets it (but not like, ALL of your time time, and they get that too), Marie's great for that.
She's also incredibly hospitable, compassionate, and respectful of your space and energy, not to mention highly experienced as an award winning, published author, business owner, and mentor.
Also, if you like extremely friendly, silly, small dogs (better than having a TV on all the time) you're gonna love having Mitchell and Maya around.
(Honestly. I'm a cat person and I'm awkward around dogs but they are easy to be around – well trained little buddies and excellent hosts in their own ways)
I highly recommend Marie's Solo Writing Retreat!